Doubting our Dreams
And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count,
it’s the life in your years. (Abraham Lincoln)
I was listening to an interview with Marcia Wiedner, America’s Dream Coach, yesterday, and it was wonderful to hear her positive spin on how to pursue the things we want in life. I particularly enjoyed the way she clarified two of our inner voices–the dreamer and the doubter.
The dreamer is the part of the self that believes all things are possible to those who believe. Turn up the volume on the voice of the dreamer! It enthusiastically embraces challenges as openings to potential. And, as she so brilliantly stated, “Without dreams, all you have is reality.” Ugh!
In order to achieve our goals, Wiedner couples intention with integrity, reminding us that pursuing our intentions or goals is an agreement with the self that should not be denied. She takes it one step further when she suggests it might also be our agreement with God. I agree. In fact, the people I see suffering the most in their current jobs are the ones who have been ignoring their true passion for years–sometimes decades! I ask these same people to remember what they wanted to be when they were children, because, most often, the dreamer was alive and well in early youth. We all came into this earthly experience with unique gifts and talents, and if we don’t include those passions in our day-to-day lives, we are most likely suffering in one or more areas of our lives.
One of the best ways to push towards making dreams reality is to share the idea with others. Often, a coaching partner can be hired to cheer the dream to fruition. If that is not possible, then family and friends can be let in on the goal…but be sure to only share with those willing to support you. In any case, putting the idea in front of others causes the dreamer to become somewhat accountable. Others are now expecting a follow through. It’s time to make a plan.
Accessing the voice of the dreamer is, according to Wiedner, a 3-fold process:
- Get clear about what you want in life.
- Believe in yourself and your dreams.
- Take action to prove you believe in your dreams.
Left to the creative voice of the inner child, the dreamer would merrily go about his or her way, gratefully including dreams in each and every day. However, the adult voice soon overrides and squelches that of the child. Those three words, “but what if,” enter the picture. Remarkably, it is not money nor time that is the biggest obstacle to success. It is doubt.
When the voice of the doubter takes over, it immediately creates a list of obstacles. Where will the money come from? How will there be enough time? Who will take over the current duties? Why would anyone want what I have to offer? The initial enthusiasm is now replaced with worry and fear. At this point, many people throw in the towel and wave the flag of surrender all the way back to their boring office job. What if, however, we used the voice of the doubter in a positive way?
Wiedner suggests the doubter is not the enemy. In fact, she says, it is a great way to discover areas of weakness and strength. Rather than let these doubts demolish the dream, they can be used to formulate a strategy. Suddenly, the doubter is no longer screaming in our heads, but is quietly discussing. We can embrace the concerns of the doubter, coming from a calm and rational place, and, as we identify areas of concern, we can devise plans to overcome these obstacles. This is not, however, the time nor place to lower our expectations. We must hold our dream with highest integrity, and formulate strategies that meet the dream at that level. In other words, if we are asking “but what if,” we answer with the ideal situation or reply.
At this point, the dreamer needs to reemerge–not coming from the mind, but coming from the heart. When we look for evidence to support our goals, we need look no further than how we feel when we fantasize about it. If it feels right…it is.
This is not the time to put dreams on the “to do” list. That is where dreams die. If the overall goal seems too big, it can be broken into smaller projects…ones that can be accomplished in one month or less. In this case, the steps are not stalled and going backward, the idea is moving forward. Small steps can result in big payoffs. One by one, the steps reveal progress and the dreamer becomes more and more excited. As the dreamer compiles evidence to support the possibility of this goal, it becomes clear the dream is not only possible, but probable. Now is the time to put together the “dream team.”
I love how Wiedner calls this part of the process “enrollment.” As the dreamer becomes excited about his or her idea, the enthusiasm spills over into every conversation. Nothing is more contagious than passion! As the dream is shared with others, fans begin to emerge. At this point, the dreamer must begin to build a team of supporters, willing to invest in his or her passion. This is accomplished in four steps:
- Establish rapport with those who can help by noticing, complimenting, and supporting them in what they do.
- Prove the value of their investment by showing them what is in it for them. How will they benefit from helping you?
- Overcome objections by referring back to the value of the investment. Knowledge, through research, is key!
- Secure an agreement with them to support you in whatever way they are able…information, money, time, etc.
Wiedner then offers a million-dollar question that can easily get a foot in the door. She suggests the best way to get investors to listen to your proposal is to simply ask this question:
“Would you be willing to explore the possibility of ____________________________ (whatever role they play in helping you achieve your goal)?”
Putting the question in that format gets you in the door, but doesn’t make them feel obligated. In most cases, this question results in a positive response. Once an appointment is set, it is up to the dreamer to make the presentation of a lifetime! Coming in with facts, research, comparisons, projections and unbridled enthusiasm is the best way to build a dream team.
If these steps are followed, there is no reason why any dream cannot be attained. It is true, “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Living in the heart of a dreamer, we find all things are possible to those who believe.
Once we achieve our goals, it is time to pay it forward. If we are blessed enough to be living the life of our dreams, it is important to reach out to others to help show them the way, as well. Only in offering a life of service can we find real happiness. We need not fear competition, because we understand there is but One Source of supply, and it is a fountain overflowing for all.
If you find yourself stuck on any of the steps outlined above, I strongly recommend the use of EFT. It will clear away blocks and remove obstacles in your path. Once those negative doubts are dissolved, the dream finds more and more space to expand into your current reality. When those opposition factors rise up to challenge your new belief, EFT can quiet them down and help you to refocus in the direction of progress. To date, I have found nothing faster or easier than tapping to clear the way to success. If you haven’t tried it, I just want to know one thing….what are you waiting for?
Your life is calling. Who will answer–the doubter or the dreamer?
I AM…Jodi
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