Mirroring Back
Work. Ugh. Don’t you just hate it? Wanna play hooky?
This morning, I was teasing my husband about wanting to play golf right in the middle of moving from one house to the other. I asked him how he could even consider “playing around” when there was so much work to do. He shot back, “Well, you take time to write your blog every day.” I answered that it was part of my job. Albeit…it is one of the parts I truly enjoy.
The truth is, a day off, here and there, to go play golf is a major part of my husband’s life. He works very hard in his home-building business, and he does deserve some fun time, as well.
Looking at our jobs makes me appreciate how lucky we are to be doing things we really enjoy. It is not uncommon for Billy and I to put in long hours, doing things most people our age would never consider doing. Just a while ago, we carried a heavy dresser up the stairs, and when the moving company shows up on Monday morning, they will, once again, be surprised to see that we have already moved most everything ourselves. It isn’t uncommon to see us climbing up tall ladders and walking across the rooftops of houses. We plant trees and shrubs and lift heavy items. We work most every single day, and rarely stop until dark. And you know what? We love it!
I often hear people talking about how they hate their jobs. They furrow their brows and say “it pays the bills, however.” I wonder why they continue to spend time in situations they really don’t enjoy. I believe if these same people would take a closer look at the experience, they might find the real reason they are there. In doing so, they might also discover they could move on to a different place…one they would actually enjoy!
I believe wherever I am is exactly where I’m “supposed” to be. No one forced me here…I chose it. I might sometimes think it isn’t what I want in life, but then I remind myself to look closer. If I’m here, there is a reason.
When people tell me they hate their jobs, I suggest they reconsider their purpose in being there. There is something there for them to learn. Sometimes, we choose employment situations without understanding that. We might think it is about money or about opportunity for career advancement. It might be. However, sometimes it is about something completely different than what you think. What if you are there because someone needs your light to shine for them? What if you are there to develop patience or to practice tolerance? If you learn to look at the deeper meaning of your experience, your “work” takes on a whole new meaning. It might even become fun as you start to play detective.
Look around you. Is there someone in your office who bothers you a great deal? Is your boss an overbearing, obnoxious jerk? Is the girl in the cubicle next to you always whining and complaining about something? Are your co-workers prejudiced and judgemental? Is the lonely nerd in the corner always depressed about something? How about that flirty girl who always wears the tight pants and low-cut blouses…does she annoy you?
In every single case, this is not about “them.” It is always about you. The characters in your play are there for a reason. Yep…you auditioned and chose them for the role they are playing in your life. What is it you need to learn from them? Everything you don’t like in others is a shadow side of yourself that needs to be addressed. Unless and until you deal with it, you will continue to put yourself in these circumstances. Ask yourself when you have acted as they do. Be honest! Look at it in yourself and recognize how you have done something very much the same. Analyze why you behaved in that manner and see if you might have something yet to learn about it. In other words, if I can’t stand the person who is always complaining, I need to ask myself if I have ever been that way. The answer will be yes! I then consider why I behaved in that manner, and I contemplate whether my complaining was uncomfortable for others. The answer is yes! I forgive and understand this aspect of myself and I decide to do better in future times. I have now become aware of this part of myself and I have taken action to clear this pattern from my life. In doing so, I have now replaced the shadow with light. I will no longer attract that type of person into my experience, because I have no need for it. More than likely, I will be surprised to learn the whining, complaining girl has been transferred to another department…or I will find myself in a new position.
Once you start to play around with this idea of addressing the things you don’t like in others as things you have inside yourself, your life will change. One by one, you will uncover the dark side of your hidden beliefs, and the light you shine on these qualities you once thought were only in others will clear from your experience. Amazing things will start to happen! New opportunities will reveal themselves to you, and every experience you encounter will be an opportunity to learn and grow. Never forget to play detective! Discover the lesson behind every single event in your life by turning and really looking at it for what it is. Think of “others” as a reflection of yourself. They can only mirror back to you what you project. Ask yourself why you placed that situation or those people in your path? Why are they in your story? What are they trying to show you about yourself? There is no need to hate work, because it can be great fun to seek out the larger lesson.
Once I FINALLY understood this concept…my whole experience looked different. Now, I can’t wait to see what person, event or words will trigger my next negative reaction. When it happens, I observe myself growing resistant, and I ask, “What is there in me that needed this to happen?”
If you know the answer…you can play hooky today!
I AM…Jodi
www.godisaverb.com/blog
